thatlittlemoron | 1st Mistake

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1st Mistake

[The feed comes on, but of course…it doesn’t appear to be intentional. A pink paw comes onto the screen, tapping it rather slowly. A voice is heard.]

Hey, hey, you knock it off! Whatever…you are…. What even are you mate…come on? What kind of get up is that, being pink and slow….

[He sighs and moves to pick up the Gear, but struggles a bit as he tries to grasp the device. He continually picks it up for a few moments before he drops it again. His form comes into view and an average sized boy hunches over. Pearl skinned, lanky and a head covered by ginger curls. He wore some sort of science uniform or jumpsuit? It wasn't normally seen in such a setting.]

Oh shit! Snap! Stupid human fingers! Who’s bloody idea was to turn me into a human. Magic doesn’t exist and I sure aren’t in Aperture Labs…. Darn it! Come on!

[With much struggle he finally succeeds and stares back at the camera for a while before turning to look at his slowpoke]

No. Don’t think that way, here you are calling me names when you can’t even do a damn thing yourself.

And just to get something straight. I’m not a moron and I know you weren’t just thinking it, because wouldn’t that be calling the kettle black. Not that I am the kettle…or a black kettle or a pot. Right! The pot calling the kettle black! That is not happening right now.

[Plop and the Gear falls from his fingers again.]

Damn! Stupid humans! Stupid human fingers! What is going on!

[A pause.]

No! I don’t need you to comment on that! [Wait was he actually talking to the pokemon. Thinking that it would respond? Odd.]

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[someone sounds... in need of help! Cole tunes in, checks what's going on.

and this slips out first.]

Magic exists.

[what did the fellow mean, it doesn't? what an odd thing to say, or at least an odd thing to say like you're sure of. but then again, everywhere people hail from here is different, isn't it?

as for the chiding of the Pokemon, Cole just sort of... assumes Wheatley can hear what it's thinking, like he could with his Ralts.]

--You're not a moron. You're confused, flustered... [right? he still can't feel any of that, but it looks really, really safe to say that based on cues.] I don't know whose idea it was, either, but I don't think you have anything to be afraid of for now...

I hope being a human doesn't hurt you -- that it isn't too upsetting.

Edited 2015-04-10 23:55 (UTC)

No, no, magic doesn't exist. Let's just put that straight. Now, science exists I have a loadfull of knowledge that will tell you that science for certain exists!

Humans, now humans believe in magic, but I don't so there must be some other reason, not magic, for why I am now a human.

[He pauses, smiles and rubs the back of his head nervously.]

Of course humans aren't bad! I don't...I'm not one! I'm a robot...a small core AI and I work at Aperture Labs.

[can't they both exist? Cole knows they both existed where he's from!

and... oof, even if he's eager to try, Cole isn't sure how to best respond to that...]

I--don't know what those are... but I wasn't always human, either. Humans aren't the only ones who can believe in magic. It's in a lot of places where I come from. Many don't like it--but to not like it, they still have to know it. Of it--not how it works, or why it is. Or always when it's magic, or something else.

[buuut if this one's something Cole hasn't even heard of, he could have some perspective of his own, and Cole's curious.]

But if... you don't have magic, then what do you think it could be?

[he lets his head fall tilted.]

[For that first part, he simply stares at the other. He listens to the words they say but he isn't really believing any of it.]

That's a mock. Well I don't believe in magic...and the rest of my...coworkers? Yes, yes, coworkers sure don't! Humans, I've only met one you see so I don't know much about what they believe in except that it's not very factual. Your culture is colorful, robust and rich with centuries of events and beliefs....

[He pauses.]

I guess they're mine too...no! No, this is just a case of the inside not matching the outside. I think it's just a joke, maybe some prank Jerry is playing at. He just wired a dream into my main circuit and I'll wake up.... No...that's not right because I'm in space with that little bot. Oh maybe, bloody maybe, our main circuits wired, synced up ya know and he's just broadcasting his dreams into my display. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

[tbh, the "culture rich with centuries of events and beliefs" thing was even more true before he was ever humanish, but that (not) said.]

You-- don't think we're real?

Right? Well that has to be one...reason? How else could you explain a human body and a pink dinosur....

I think it's a dinosaur, if I had my back up database I could look it up! But, a pink, slow, animal following me around.Do animals normally look like this.

[A pause for dramatic effect.]

No, no. The answer is no they don't...I'm pretty sure they don't.

I'm real. [realer than ever! and though he can't verify this next one as easily as he could before:] You're real, too.

[he's not sure if he's working towards the right goal, here, or if he's making progress toward any goal at all. he sorta nods to himself, as if to reassure himself he's getting something right.]

Is there a normal way for animals to look?

[another question he's actually sincere about. there are so many kinds of animals, after all. they don't have much in common other than all that corporeal jazz.]

[But it made no sense! He couldn't just out of the blue be a human.]

Okay, okay I'll play along. I'm real, this is happening. If I wake up tomorrow and this dope face is still staring at me with it's dumb grin then you're right.

[He thought about that for a moment.]

No...I guess all animals look different. Mostly because they have different survival instincts and appendages that set them apart. Even humans are animals, but robots...no we aren't animals. All the humans I've known, save for one, were dead. Brain dead vegetables and I was in charge of them. Not that it matters for much here, because I'm not at Aperture. Even though I wasn't last time I remember and was instead floating through the depths of space. Heck I ran everything back at Aperture...messed it up and things went sour which is why I'm in space, but...now I'm here.

[thank you, wheatley!

no humans where this one comes from... if there are no other "people" there either, besides ones who somehow aren't animals, then maybe that's why there's no magic there? not very helpful to think out loud about, though.]

Because... you messed it up?

Yeah, went a little power crazy. Took over the building, tried to kill a human and ya know I'd take it all back. I'm sorry. Not that she can hear me but yeah, I'm sorry.

[He shrugs it off and it was unclear if he generally felt remorse or was saying he did.]

[...yeah, it's times like this that being unable to read the actual feelings behind someone's words is frustrating.]

As long as you wouldn't do anything like it again.

[starting that with a conditional doesn't make him feel any better. he wants to believe Wheatley, but...]

--The animals are real, too. And they are very smart here... They're supposed to be our friends-- companions.

Why was yours calling you names?

No, I don't think I will. theres no decomposing laboratories based on testing subjects around here and I am currently not a nanobot. I can't accomplish much in a human body...again not to say humans aren't capable. Just can't mess with evolution and all that.

Not sure how they are companions when they are...dumb. Oh! he was calling me a moron, which just to clarify I am not. I mean we just met and already he is calling me names. Rude, just an all out hate crime. I don't even know what to call it, Slowpoke, is what the tiny computer said. Speaking of which why doesn't it bloody talk, the computer I mean, it doesn't say much.

[the Slowpoke was just being rude, then? a disapproving half of a frown.

also, he shakes his head.]

I-I don't know. Are computers supposed to talk more?

We didn't have them where I lived. Anywhere I lived.

No computers! Oh...welll..HEH that's unfortunate for you...can't imagine science would do much for ya or theorems.... The cosmos! All those factors that you would need a computer for.

[In so many words he might be calling you stupid.]

[he can't tell that specifically, but he does hear sooooomething he doesn't quite like in the tone.]

We have science.

[his tone of voice is light and friendly, still, but he looks a little put out--not offended, so much as like he's just been told a joke that he can't wrap his head around.]

...But we don't have computers!

[Wheatley not having much experience of reading expressions doesn't react to his tone or facial features. Instead he stands aghast, mouth dropping!]

No computers! Well...that is...well unfortunate.

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1st Mistake

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